The problem with recently divorced single parents is that are waiting too long to start dating again, complaining they are oh, so busy. The real reason is their fears, because their previous situation was usually so ugly, they don’t have a strong enough ego to let rejections roll off their back.
Even if they are starting to date, in most cases are doing this for the wrong reasons. Some single parents think they are in competition with their ex, particularly if they were left for a younger partner. They also might be playing a game to prove to the ex that they are desirable by dating as many people as possible. In a nutshell, don’t date for emotional revenge, to allay feelings of loneliness or to prove your desirability to others.
After a divorce, both parties are tented to change partners almost every week or month and are not in the mood to compromise with somebody. But after a while especially single fathers are feeling the need to have a life partner and a mother for their children. If you are a single father and you are determined to find someone for a long time relationship you have to be sure that you are making the best choice because now you are not alone, you are making the choice not only for you but for your children too.
There are some gold rules to consider that can help you to find the best mom for your children and the best lover for you:
1 – As there is no surer turn-off for a potential lover than a person who insists on living in the past, make a rule for yourself that you are going to do your absolute best not to drag the past into new relationships.
2 – Your kids are the priority of your life; keep them there no matter what!
3 – You have been careful to prepare your kids for the fact that you will have a life other than the one with them. But don’t forget to make them understand that they will not lose your love, just some of your time together.
4 – Chose to date only women that have at least one kid already. A woman without children will not understand you and your children needs and will not have too much patience. Don’t forget that children are the best when it is about to exasperate somebody, and in the first stage your new date will be like a target for your kids jest.
5 – Don’t leave your partner to baby-sit. In order to keep children safe, it is necessary to be able to discipline them. It is too soon for your partner to discipline your children.
6 – In conflict situation try to put yourself in your partner place, be diplomatic with your child and try to be impartial. Find the golden mean to resolve the problems between them.
7 – Never chose your mate only because she is getting on well with your child. You have to find someone FOR YOU and YOUR CHILD. Remember that the best for your children is and will ever be their natural mum, the women you just have divorced (for some good reasons I believe). So find a woman that you are attracted to, a woman you find interesting AND that is willing to accept your children too.
8 – Pay attention to her children too, and never forget that they are the priority of her life.